“Most mornings I recite the Lord’s Prayer. I’m not worth much for the new day until I’ve grounded myself in those words.” Our Daily Bread 

If we think about it just for a minute, of all the ways Jesus could have taught His disciples to begin their prayers, He chose those very words: “Our Father” (that’s Matthew 6.9) as a starting point. That’s where we go every day. Was that random? No! Jesus was never less than intentional with every single word. We all have different relationships with our earthly fathers. Some good, some far less than that. However, praying in that way, we should not be addressing my father or your father, but our Father. The One who sees us, the One who hears us, and who knows what we need before we even ask Him. What an amazing reassurance, especially on those days when we might feel forgotten, alone, abandoned, or just simply not worth much. Remember, regardless of where we are, and what time of the day or night it may be, our Father in Heaven is always near. 

I shared this story before, that when my mother passed on to glory I was so distraught. I came home in this place of going, “Lord, I know You’re there, and I know You’re good, and I’ve served You for such a long time, but I don’t know what to do with all this.” I heard Him clearly say, “Do you trust me?” At that point, I had to start saying, “Father, thy will be done. Lord, Father, whatever Your will is.” So, we learn every moment we’ve been given another day to acknowledge Him as the King of Kings and Lord of Lords and to pause and begin by saying, “Our Father…” It makes such a difference in our lives. And to remember today that the Creator of the universe knows you, loves you, and has a plan for you. You are individually loved by Him, all the way from here to eternity when You are His. 

Prayer

“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

This, then, is how you should pray: ‘Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.’

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Matthew 6.5-15 NIV

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“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”

Philippians 4.8 NLT

Don’t Believe the Lies 

“It’s no secret that many of us are weighed down right now by chronic fears or worries- negative thoughts that can run away with you at night and you spiral. Anxious and toxic thinking. We even believe the lies of our enemy, Lucifer. ‘You’re not good enough. You’ll never change. You’ll never measure up.’ Flat out falsehoods that the devil designed to hold you hostage and keep you from the freedom and power that’s your birthright as a son or daughter of God. What we’ve discovered is that most of life’s battles are won or lost in your mind. Your mind is a battlefield. As a Christian, you have a choice: you can believe Satan’s lies to you, or you can believe God’s truth about you.” ~Tim Lucas

Talk Back

“The enemy always has some sort of tool or memory or situation he uses to terrify you, even though the good times are there. The dream is there, the blessing is there, and the goodness is there. There’s always this haunting, nagging defiance that says, ‘don’t you relax. You’re not worth it. You don’t deserve it and it’s not going to last. Everything else went away…maybe this will go away too.’ We talk about faith for bad times, but you also need faith in good times to actually believe the goodness of God is not going anywhere. To silence the voices that keep saying you’ll never make it- you’re about to lose everything. Fear gets in your heart. You can change your outcome, but you have to stop talking to yourself the way you do. If you continue to talk to yourself the way you do, you’ll always be where you’ve always been. It is what you say within yourself that heals you. You see, those voices that say what you can’t do, what you can’t have, what you can’t be, what’s not going to last, what’s not going to work, is how the enemy pulverizes the promises of God in your life. Talk back to those voices- shut the enemy down. The pressure I was going though was coming from the things I allowed to reverberate through my head. I was wondering if there are things echoing in your head right now that are stopping you from living your best life because you will not silence them by speaking back.” ~T.D. Jakes

You Are in Control of Your Thoughts

“Many times the problems we think we have with our lives are actually problems with our thoughts. Proverbs 4.23 says you’ve got to carefully guard your thoughts because they are the source of true life. You are the narrator of your life. So we have to fix our thoughts. Jesus wants to change your pattern of thinking and give you a new pattern. That’s why Romans 12.2 says, ‘do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind then you will learn to know God’s will for you which is good and pleasing and perfect.’ So it’s about the pattern: if you think negative thoughts, you’ll become a negative person. You will likely find whatever you fix your focus on. If you decide to look for what’s good in life, you’ll find the good. If you decide to always look for the bad in any given situation, you’ll find the bad. If you don’t decide in advance to fill your brain with Godly, positive thoughts, your human nature will be more than happy to revert to its default setting, which is looking for what’s negative. 2 Corinthians 10.5 says, ‘We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.’ Listen, your thoughts are not in control of you. You are in control of your thoughts.” ~Ryan Visconti

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“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.”

Colossians 3.16 NKJV

I’m thankful today for His goodness and His mercy in the land of the living! We’re not just talking about in glory- He gives us joy here. Something I’ve been reminded of is that joy is a choice. Thankfulness is a choice. Gratitude is a choice. I encourage you if you have time, to go on our website, https://937thelight.com/living-life-with-lauren/ and listen to the pieces I played on 11/17/22. You can listen to them again and again and be filled up to overflowing with all the Lord has done for you. 

“Praise the Lord. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.”

Psalm 106.1 NIV

This is the thing: if the enemy can keep up down in the dumps, then he wins. He’s thinking, “you know what? If I can’t win their souls, and they’re going to Heaven, I’m going to make sure the journey there is not a good one.” But we have the power in the Word of God and all He’s given us to defeat anything the enemy lays on us any given day of the week! So the strength in your pinkie finger- because of the power of Jesus living in you with the Holy Spirit- (because when you accept Jesus into your heart, you get all that!) that will defeat the enemy! We have to learn to be warriors and we have to learn to stand. And then when you know what it’s like to be a warrior, you stop and think, “how can I live any other way?” 

“Be strong, and let us fight bravely for our people and the cities of our God. The Lord will do what is good in his sight.”

2 Samuel 10:12

I’m really trying this Thanksgiving to just pause and say, “Lord, thank You for all these things.” That changes your heart. It just floods over you and chases away all your worries and your cares. You know what? You’re reminding yourself that He is good all the time, even when it doesn’t make sense to our fleshly eyes. 

Cry out, “Save us, God our Savior; gather us and deliver us from the nations, that we may give thanks to your holy name, and glory in your praise.”

1 Chronicles 16.35 NIV

Happy Thanksgiving to you!

~Lauren

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A Word From Lauren

Hey, dear ones. I am so grateful and thankful for you. I was able to be a part of a women’s event recently and we had the best time. Just being together sometimes with other people that are right where you are uplifts your spirit. I heard this amazing ministry piece called, “You Will Pray Like Never Before After Listening To These Words.” It’s motivation. It’s encouraging you and reminding you of how loved you are; how treasured you are. Not only that, but you are a warrior. God called you for such a time as this to do great things. If the enemy can keep us pent up, tied up, worn out, trodden down, then he just thinks that’s the funniest thing in the world. We have to look at him and say, “Not today. Not tomorrow. Not the next day. Not the next day. Not the next day.” This might help give you some power!

~Lauren

“Every problem has its purpose. Valleys are there for our character development; for the maturing of our faith, rather than our comfort. Everyone who experienced a miracle in the Bible had gone through their own valley experience. Job lost everything, but in the end he came out of that valley knowing that God can restore what was lost with a double portion. Those who were blind and could not see; those who were sick and lame; those who were paralyzed or struck with leprosy; they all came out of that valley experience knowing that God is a healer. For whatever trial you are facing today, I would like to encourage you that your valley experience is there to strengthen you and not to destroy you.”

Such a Time as This

If you aren’t familiar with the story of Esther, stop what you’re doing and go read it! It’s beautiful and epic and thrilling. You may have heard someone say, “you have been born for such a time as this.” That line is spoken to Esther by her cousin, Mordecai, who is encouraging her to do something brave and dangerous. When we are tempted to think the world is too bad of a place for us to make a difference, or that we’d be better off to close ourselves up in our homes and avoid everyone, we can remember these words. You were, in fact, created for this time in history to do what only you can do. 

“Do not think that because you are in the king’s house you alone of all the Jews will escape. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”

Esther 4.13-14

We hope you’re encouraged by this and feel empowered to keep on going!

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This is the thing, family. When we don’t have it together is when we trust God the most. That’s why He allows us to have weakness. When you have those moments when you feel like, “I don’t have it together” that’s ok! I want to tell you that it’s ok. I know I’ve had times when I feel like I’ve shared with people and they feel like it’s not ok to not be ok, but those are not your people. I know it’s frustrating with people who are never ok…we don’t want to be that! But to have moments of leaning? That’s when we need Jesus the most. Know today, it’s ok not to have it all together. 

To help you remember, here are some scriptures and quotes for you to meditate on this week. 

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12.9-10

“Be patient with yourself. Nothing in nature blooms all year.”

~Unknown

LORD, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress.

Isaiah 33.2

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

Psalm 73.26

“It’s okay to not be okay. Just keep moving forward. It’s a bad day, not a bad life.”

~Thobi D. Brown

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

John 16.33

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.

Psalm 121.1-2

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41.10

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September 

The breezes taste of apple peel

The air is full of smells to feel-

Ripe fruit, old footballs,

burning brush, 

new books, erasers,

chalk, and such.

The bee, his hive, 

well-honeyed hum, 

and Mother cuts

chrysanthemums. 

Like plates washed clean

with suds, the days

are polished with

a morning haze. 

-John Updike

Isn’t that beautiful? It just makes us think about all the seasons the Lord gives us. That’s one of the many cool things about being in Ohio, we have all the seasons. To think about pulling out the pumpkins and getting the cider on the stove and the trees changing- it’s just a wonderful time to know that God is such an amazing artist, isn’t He? All the beautiful things He creates for us just because He loves us so much. 

Here are a few Scriptures to meditate on as you enjoy the fall season: 

A Time for Everything

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him. Ecclesiastes 3.1-14 NIV

He has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their seasons; he provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy.

Acts 14.17 NIV

For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.

Romans 1.20 NIV

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Graced For Your Race

Taylor: “I don’t think I’ve mastered the art of learning how to balance everything perfectly in my life. There’s a lot of days where I call [Robert] crying, just because sometimes it’s so overwhelming between him traveling and 2 babies under 2 and one on the way- just life in general. I find myself beating myself up a lot. I feel like if I’m satisfying Robert’s needs, then my babies are lacking. If my babies and my husband are doing great, if they’re not lacking for anything, my spiritual life is lacking. So, I’m constantly beating myself up because an area is lacking in my life. I usually just have to take a step back, and [Robert] helps me with this, and just reminds me that I’m human- I’m one person and I need grace, but ultimately one thing the Holy Spirit always speaks to me is, ‘Taylor, you’re graced for this.’

So many people say, ‘Taylor, I don’t know how you do what you do.’ And then I look at their life and I say, ‘I don’t know how you do what you do!’ But ultimately, it’s because I’m not graced to be who they are. I’m graced to be Taylor Madu, Robert Madu’s wife, and so with that being said, that’s what I keep in the forefront of my mind and in our home, that before the very foundation of the earth, God knew the plans He had for Robert, for me, and for our children.”

“Sometimes you have to be careful because things can become a competition, like sending Daddy out for ministry vs. family and all that, but I don’t think it has to be that way, I think we just kind of do it all together. If there’s an area that’s lacking, we take a step back, we acknowledge the area that’s lacking, and we give attention to it and then we move forward. I don’t know if you’ll ever learn to balance it all perfectly…but I think it’s important to never create that competition.”

No For Now

Robert: “We don’t even like to use that term ‘balance’ because to me, balance just gives that imagery of you have all of these precious vessels that are important to you on a tightrope and you’re trying to hold it all together and if you’re not careful, you’ll start to put all these things against each other. Like, oh no, this is ministry time and this is family time. We just try to be good stewards of everything God has put under our jurisdiction. That takes reflection, that takes stepping back, that takes saying, ‘No for now, maybe later. That’s not for this season.’ For instance, I just got back from New Zealand. I was preaching there and I was gone for 11 days and preached 14 times. That was 1 of 2 international trips I took this year, but after getting back I saw [Taylor’s] face and she was like, ‘that was your last international trip. Put your passport away. You are staying in these United States of America.’ So I was like, ‘Ok.’ We just made the decision that for right now, I am not doing international trips because for this season with our kids, I cannot be gone for 10 days. I can do a trip here and there, but that’s just for this season. 

There are different guardrails we put in. One of the things we do is at Easter, Father’s Day, Mother’s Day, and holidays, those are days that I don’t care who you are calling me to come preach, I’m not going. We’re going to go to church as a family. That’s just some different guardrails that we’ve put in.”

Taylor: “I think so many times in ministry, because I grew up in a pastor’s home, so many times it’s like ‘God has to be first’  but God is in us and with us. It’s not like He’s separate from that, so I feel like sometimes people feel the pressure that they have to put their ministry above their family and I think if you’re out ministering to the world and He’s changing lives, yet the home life is suffering, something’s wrong.”

The Danger of Comparison

Robert: “Comparison is the thief of joy. This is one of the messages God has given me the mandate to tell the body of Christ because social media has changed the landscape of life. It’s amazing how you can be so content with where you are and so happy, but then all of a sudden awareness drives discontentment. Can you imagine how happy you would be with your spouse if you just didn’t know, but now you have notifications on your smart device that’s making you stupid. We will take social media breaks and just keep our eyes on who Jesus is and what He has called us to do. It’s a slippery slope when you start playing the comparison game and nothing will steal your joy more than looking at somebody else. And let’s be honest, it’s not real. We’ll laugh sometimes, we’ll post a picture and somebody will comment, ‘Awww, we just want what you guys have.’ 

Taylor: “And we’re like, ‘you don’t know us! You don’t know what we have. I’d be careful about saying that!’ It’s so easy to put anything out that you want to paint this false persona. There are so many family pictures we take that look perfect, but it took us 10 billion photos to get that picture. But that sums up social media. It’s not realistic. I encourage everyone to just be you and remember, you’re graced for your race.”

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I heard this message and I thought some of you needed to hear it, because whether you’re 2 or 102, you have a call on your life. If you’re older, I want to encourage you not to give up, and if you’re younger, take it seriously. Whatever phase we’re in in our life, our call matters. This is a tremendous message called “Walk Out Your Call Unhindered” and I thought it would challenge you this morning to be the warrior God has called you to be. 

“Take some time to study the Word. What are the promises of God upon my life? What is the inheritance of a believer? When you are rooted in the Word of God, you can’t be easily shaken. I’m reminded by something- when the Lord came out of the wilderness and went to the synagogue, the first Scripture He read was the Scripture in Isaiah: 

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

Isaiah 61.1-3 NIV

He begins to list out the things He has been anointed for. One of them is to proclaim liberty to the captive. You see, that is so fascinating to me and so profound. He is to tell the captives- those who are living life like they are bound- He is to let them know, ‘Hey, guys. You’re actually free because of who I am and what I represent.’ What is keeping you bound right now in your life? Whatever it is, you have freedom in Jesus Christ. Who the Son sets free is free indeed. If it’s an addiction, if it’s a behavior, if it’s a mindset, lay it down before Him and replace that lie with the truth of God’s Word. You have to know what is the knowledge of God and what are the arguments against the knowledge of God. In that, you will find personal freedom. I’m believing this for you and I just want to say a word of prayer and we’ll seal this. 

Heavenly Father, I thank you for everyone [reading] this. Lord God, I thank You that You know them, You see them, You know them by name. Lord, I pray that as they study Your Word, that Holy Spirit, You would make the Scriptures alive to them, that it would not just be head knowledge, but it would be sealed in their hearts who they are because of You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.” ~Stephanie Ike

I pray that you claim that today and have an awesome day, whatever you’re going to be doing!

Lauren Kitchens

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I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

The Gift of Peace 

Before Jesus was betrayed and taken to the horrible crucifixion, He told his disciples what would happen in the days to come, when He would no longer be with them physically. He told them about the horrible things that may happen to them, but also the incredible gift that was coming to those who believe in Him- the Holy Spirit, who would dwell within them. He encouraged His disciples to continue trusting Him and to remain in Him. In Jesus, we can enjoy the gift of peace, knowing that whatever comes our way, we’re with Someone who has overcome the world and defeated death. This is a beautiful piece from someone being real honest about what they’ve gone through. A lot of you listen to Christian music, and Big Daddy Weave has been around for years. I love their music. This is called “Hating Yourself” and when Mike Weaver shared his words, I was like, I understand that. And I don’t know if you ever dealt with thinking I just don’t like myself, Lord. I know I need to love who I am because of who I am in You, but I need help along the way. Mike Weaver is just being honest about when he dealt with that.

If you are in a place of self-loathing, I pray that will be lifted off you in Jesus’ name. 

Hating Myself

Man, I just went through a really weird season, but an awesome season because I never really knew how to give voice to this, but I just hated myself. I never knew that was wrong, either. I knew that Jesus loved me, but I was never good enough for me. I had this standard for myself that I could never live up to, it seemed like. Nobody ever put that on me. There was this day, I remember literally the feeling of the cold concrete on my leg as I’m sitting on the floor of the garage, telling God everything that I hated about me and man, I had a list too. In the middle of me just pouring out, God shows up. And it was the voice of God in my heart, saying Michael, you need to let Me tell you what I think about you for once. So I’m sitting there, ready, on the journal of my heart, ready to write the most profound thing I’ve ever heard and God says to me, I like the way you smile. And I don’t know what it was, but as simple of a thing as that was, it was like- it just- there are these walls that I had built up in my heart and God just took this wrecking ball to all of them. He just began to fill my heart and my mind with stuff that He, the God of the universe, likes about me. He showed me that day that His love for me is not based on my ability to perform for Him. It’s completely based on what Jesus has done. It makes all the difference.

Mike Weaver

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Forgiving Yourself

“For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.”

Psalms 103.11-12 NLT

It’s been difficult in my life to forgive myself. I constantly ask ‘why did I do that?’ We can tend to look back, can’t we? We go back as far as 15, 25, 35 years, asking “why, why, why?” And the Lord is saying, “I have forgiven you. Forget it. When I forgave you, I forgave you as far as the East is from the West.” Meaning, He doesn’t remember it anymore. But we do. When we can forgive ourselves, it frees us up in life to forgive others and to walk out being someone who’s whole, because if we hold on to unforgiveness, especially to ourselves, it’s damaging to our heart and it affects our relationships. I’ve seen it affect mine and I’ve seen it affect loved ones.

If we can forgive ourselves and say, “you know, I might see these things in myself that I don’t like, but they’re under the blood.” When we can learn to love who God called us to be, not in an arrogant way, but in a humble way, then it’s easier for us to walk in freedom, to love others, to say, “Father, I know that when I was in the womb, You had a plan for me.” He loves you so much and He forgives you. When we embrace that, when we drink that in, when we walk in it, it’s a whole lot easier for us to bestow the same love, grace, and forgiveness on others around us. 

Forgiving Others

“Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times? No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!”

Matthew 18.21-22 NLT

It’s not easy thinking I’m supposed to forgive someone 7 x 70 times. What? No way! But this is the thing, God has given us wisdom. When you’ve forgiven somebody, that doesn’t mean you give them access to your heart right away, if ever. You have to pray about it- you have to look at the situation and see what’s going on with that person. It means you are releasing the feelings of anger, frustration, and betrayal. You’re saying, “Lord, I’m going to give that to You.” We don’t want to get a seed of bitterness in our hearts. For the Lord to fully use us effectively, we’ve got to be able to walk out forgiveness. 

Forgiving When The Person Hasn’t Asked 

“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

Romans 12:18 NIV

I’m thinking this morning of people I need to forgive. I might not want to, but Jesus forgives me Every. Single. Day. Can’t I forgive others? Whether they’re sorry or not. You might be thinking, “but, they didn’t come tell me they were sorry…” You’re not responsible for them. We’re told in the Word of God, “be at peace with all men as much as possible.” And what depends on us is doing the right thing. Forgiveness equals freedom. The Lord is saying, “If you’ll walk out forgiveness, you will have freedom. You won’t have a seed of bitterness. You’ll be able to walk out a fulfilled life.” If we have bitterness, that will hold us back and we don’t want anything holding us back from all He has for us.

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If you’ve never been with a loved one at the end of their life, you may not have thought about the best ways to comfort and support them in their final hours on Earth. When you find yourself in that situation, you might at first feel scared, panicked, or desperate, but take a deep breath and try to think about what you might want or need in that situation, and let that be a starting point. Below are a few ideas to help you prepare to emotionally and spiritually support your loved one. If you need information about helping to keep your loved one physically comfortable, this is a great article from Mayo Clinic .

Prayer

Prayer is a natural response in the face of death. It may comfort your loved one and remind them of their loving Creator. Below are a few key thoughts Barry Pennington, Chaplain of Crossroads Hospice & Palliative Care likes to include in his prayers for the patients he sees. “My desire is that they may experience God with them when they allow me to pray.”

1. God is always present with us, even when we may not be experiencing that presence.
2. As a chaplain, I don’t pretend to have the answers. I join with my patient in asking the “whys.”
3. God is with my hospice patient, especially in suffering.
4. Caregivers also experience God’s presence in caring for their loved one.
5. I affirm my personal trust in God even when none of us have the answers.

If you don’t feel comfortable with your own prayers, read written prayers or liturgies. Douglas McKelvey has written a beautiful and powerful set of liturgies called Every Moment Holy. The second book in the series is specifically geared toward death and grief. Even if your loved one is unconscious, continue to pray and talk with them. It’s widely believed they can still hear you and/or sense you are near. 

Stories and Music

Storytelling seems to naturally happen a lot of times in these situations, but if you’re facing the loss of a loved one unexpectedly or if you’ve had communication problems with this loved one in the past, you might be unsure of what to talk about. Share stories or memories of good times, or ask them if they want to tell you about a happy time in their life or about their childhood. Be prepared for the possibility that your loved one may feel the need to confess or to talk over things they may feel guilty or conflicted about. Offer to contact a pastor or minister for them to talk to if they would like. 

Recent studies have shown that reading or hearing someone read to you can help relieve pain. If your loved one has a favorite book or loves the Bible, spend as much time as you can reading aloud. As well as comforting your loved one, it also can help you manage your stress and anxiety. 

In a similar way to reading, it’s believed that music can help reduce pain, stress, and anxiety. Make a playlist for your loved one, or if you can, sing some of their favorite songs. If they have a history of singing, it may bring them great joy to sing with you. This is an easy way for children to show love as well, since knowing what to talk about can be stressful for young ones. 

A Prayer For You

Jesus, please draw close to this precious brother or sister facing the death of a loved one. Let them feel Your presence and Your love. Carry them through the hard days ahead and comfort their broken heart. Give them wisdom and discernment to show love in powerful ways to the people around them, and also to recognize what they need and to show love to themselves. In Jesus’ name, Amen. 

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Family drama has got to be the worst. These are the people you’re supposed to trust…that’s why the wounds are so deep and so painful. Your mom is supposed to be there to protect you, your dad is supposed to be there to protect you. That’s why so many times when you come into a relationship with Jesus, if your earthly father wasn’t close to the picture of what a father should be, it’s hard for you to trust your Heavenly Father. You have to really get to get to know Him to understand what a Father really is. Drama, to me, always takes you away from God, because God is not about drama; He’s the God of peace even in the midst of the storm. He’ll give you the peace you need. Difficulties should take you to Him…you should run to Him, He’s your refuge. I think drama keeps you from receiving the wholeness and the healing that you need. Even when you decide to focus on your pain more than healing, then a lot of times you create more drama in your own situation. There have been times when I’ve been hurt and it’s almost like the Holy Spirit says, “Ok, do you want to focus on your hurt or do you want to focus on the healing?” To me, when the Holy Spirit talks to me, He comes with no drama at all; very clear and direct because the thing is you really can’t play with it because if you decide to hang around and mope and nurse your hurt, it’s gonna get worse. I mean, I’ve had the Holy Spirit say, “What’s more important: My will or your feelings?” And when you run to Him, He’s never going to reject you, He’s going to give you exactly what you need so you can make it to the next step. It doesn’t all happen at one time. We’re impatient and we want the healing to happen right now; the reconciliation to happen right now; but God has an order. He has a strategy. He has a plan. But we have to run to Him. 

Remembering is such an active thing. When I’m actively pursuing God- I’m getting my little behind up, getting my journal out in the morning, oh, conviction comes. A holy and righteous conviction. And I love what you said, we find ourselves in these drama cycles, but if we are actively pursuing our Heavenly Father day by day, moment by moment. I ask a question every morning, “Lord, I want to repent. Show me some areas in my life that I need to be refined in. He’s like, “Remember that time last night, when you all were texting and you got a little crazy?
When you blocked your own mama? Remember that? That’s what you need to work on right now.” I just feel like, we’re going to make the mistakes; we’re going to get mad; we’re going to have a little road rage; we’re probably going to get mad and block somebody for a second, but if we’re in constant communication with our Father, and we’re remembering, and we’re being active in that, He shows us and refines us and we can press the reset button. “Come on back, this is not the way” and that blocks the way of the enemy who just comes for that discourse and just wants division and disunity, for sure. 

I love what you said, CeCe, when you know it’s His voice because He speaks very directly to you. So, His voice over your life could only be discerned in the hidden place where you communed with Him, where you heard from Him, and then recognized that still, small voice in a sea of voices, and opinions, and chaos. So for me, it’s centered so much in the intimate place with God and discovering in His Word and in His Presence His character and His heart and the way He speaks to me. In that, I began to pray, “Holy Spirit, I want Your gift of the discerning of spirits. I’m hungering and asking You to grow that gift in me.” When that became my prayer, then in moments of drama or moments of conflict, I was able to step back and say, “let me discern the spirit sourcing their words. Let me discern the spirit sourcing their opinions, or their feelings.” This is very important when it comes to spiritual manipulation- when it comes to conflict in the faith, that’s even a little wilder. When I was in worldly conflict…talk about conflict when you’re all believers. But when I pray, “God, I want the gift of discernment of spirits…” I know what the Holy Spirit sounds like. I know what the Holy Spirit working through someone, I can discern that and respond. So sometimes someone can come with something that could cause drama, but it’s actually imparted from the Lord for our good and I can understand and my spirit resonates with that. But other times, if someone’s coming with other things, sourced from other spirits, I’m able to say, “That’s not the Holy Spirit sourcing that, and so I don’t have to receive that.” I don’t have to take offense, I don’t have to be manipulated by that. Maybe even the wisdom in this moment is that I separate myself from them because that’s coming to cause chaos, to tear me down, to come with accusation. That’s not of my God, even if they claim they’re another believer, that’s where all that manipulation comes in. And they can be another believer, just coming from a place of brokenness, not even recognizing their own motives are impure. When that lack of healing is what is sourcing something, we have to say, “Lord, give me discernment of spirits that I might respond when I know it’s of You, and I might not get dragged and drawn in and destroyed when it is not of You.”

When you choose to forgive, or when you choose to walk in obedience, it doesn’t mean that you’re always going to feel like you’ve achieved something. It doesn’t mean that you haven’t, but God continues to purify us, He continues to heal us. It’s a process. Our nature is to say, “I forgive you, but you’re going to get yours.” That’s our nature. That’s everybody’s nature. Nobody has to teach us how to feel that way, but it’s an opportunity for you to grow and to become more like Him. But it’s a process…so don’t abort the process.

“I thought those were really wise words they were sharing with each other, so we can grow and learn. I’ve had people in my life say things to me and I’m like, ‘that is not of God.’ And I just store it away in my heart because I know- because it’s negative or it’s just something I know isn’t right. So, the Lord will show you and it is important that we put a guard over our heart. We can love the whole wide world when our inner circle is pure. We’re just learning these things as we go through life.”

Lauren 

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