For many women, motherhood is the culmination of years of hopes and dreams. For some, it’s something they wanted someday, but ready or not, it’s happening right now. In either case, the reality of becoming a mother is often wildly different from what they’ve imagined. Even for the well-prepared mom-to-be, help is deeply appreciated and sometimes very necessary for her sanity.
“Mother is a verb. It’s something you do. Not just who you are.”
Cheryl Lacey Donovan
It’s easy for new mothers to feel overwhelmed and exhausted, given the wide range of responsibilities a day holds. Newborns require a lot of attention. She will lose sleep and feel a host of intense emotions that she might not know how to handle. As much joy as you’ll feel for your spouse, a family member, or friend who’s a new mother, it’s important to show compassion for the stress they’re coping with daily. There are several ways to support a new mom in the early months of motherhood.
1. Organize a Meal Train
A new mom simply won’t have the time that she had previously to cook fresh meals. Organizing a meal train spares her these worries as you provide meals or gift cards. You can use planning tools such as Take Them a Meal and Meal Train, or you can use a Google spreadsheet or a group email to track deliveries and meal information. It’s recommended that you keep the meal train going for a month or two as the new mom gets acclimatized to her new life.
2. Help With Grocery Shopping
Not only will a new mom not have the time to cook meals, chances are grocery shopping will feel like an impossible task at first. When you’re heading to the grocery store, offer to do some grocery shopping on her behalf. Ask her to put together a list; or if you know what her favorite foods are, pick up items to satisfy her cravings and her hunger!
3. Help with Chores
Taking care of a child requires a lot of physical commitment. A new mom constantly holds, feeds, and cleans up after the baby, many times to the neglect of her house and herself. One thing you can do to reduce her workload is offer to clean the house or do chores. Offer to load and unload the washer/dryer, vacuum the floors, or help with the dishwashing. These small acts of kindness go a long way in providing relief and assurance that she’s not alone in handling all her responsibilities.
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4. Get Her Out
After the physical pain has healed, Mom might need a little encouragement to get out. You could take her out for coffee, lunch, or for a pedicure. You could give her a gift card to her favorite place and go shopping with her. If she needs some time with her husband and is ready to leave the little one for a short time, you could offer to babysit.
5. Send Her Encouraging Messages
One of the best ways to support a new mom is to let her know that she’s not alone on this journey. The early months with a newborn could, at times, make her feel alone and isolated. Send her thoughtful messages to remind her how awesome she is and how proud you are of her. Send her a card or flowers; anything you can do to let her know she’s not alone and she has support.
