Why Do I Feel Unloved?

The world in 2021 can be a tricky one to navigate. If you spend any time online, it seems like everyone is mad at each other and fighting over basically everything. People are critical and brutal to each other over any perceived offense. It feels like the verse Matthew 24.12 is coming true before our eyes.

Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold.

–Matthew 24.12 NIV

Feeling Unloved: Why Do I Feel This Way?

Let’s talk about a couple of reasons that might be leading you to feel unloved, and what you can do to change it. Spend a little time thinking through your feelings, when you’re most likely to feel that way, and what situations make you feel worse. Maybe it’s a deep pain a family member or a specific person caused that leads to negative feelings. Journaling can be very helpful because it can help you keep track of your thoughts, recognize patterns, and keep your mind from wandering. Or, as an alternative, record yourself on your phone talking about your feelings and watch it back to gain some insight.

Self Doubt: Is Social Media Impacting Your Self-Worth?

You’ve probably heard this talked about a lot lately, but hear me out. Isolation is becoming a very real problem for people, especially with the way social media has affected our lives. Many of us are spending less time with our families and friends, choosing instead to spend time with our online friends or even just scrolling our newsfeed. Online relationships are not the same as in person relationships. When you are sitting behind your computer or phone screen, it’s easy to feel like what you have isn’t enough and everyone else has more than you do, because it’s easier to craft a perfect image online as opposed to real life. It’s easy to allow yourself to believe that since you’re not getting the attention you want, the likes or comments or whatever, that no one loves you. Your worth and value have NOTHING to do with what people on social media think about you! Do you find that your feelings of loneliness or being unloved flare up when you’re on social media?

Challenge: Take a week off from all social media. Spend the time you would normally be online to pray, read about what the God of the universe says about you, and with your family or friends. Intentionally work on your relationships and see if your feelings of being unloved are originating from social media. Here are a couple of verses and a prayer to get you started:

You Are Loved By God

God decided in advance to adopt us into His own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ. This is what He wanted to do, and it gave Him great pleasure.

–Ephesians 1.5 NLT

God showed how much He loved us by sending His one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through Him. This is real love — not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and His love is brought to full expression in us.

–1 John 4.9-12 NLT

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.

–Ephesians 2.10 NLT

“God, please help me to see myself as You see me. I feel like no one loves me, but I’ve heard You do. Will You lead me to the truth of who You are and who You’ve made me to be? Open my heart to hear and to understand. Amen.”

Are Your Circumstances Causing You to Feel Unloved?

Are you in a situation where someone is telling you you’re unlovable? Or, if not actually saying the words, treating you like there’s nothing good about you? That is abuse and you do not deserve it. Talk to someone trustworthy about what to do to get out of that situation, and until then, think about this: God created you for a purpose. He’s never made a mistake. When you accept Jesus and enter the Kingdom of God, you enter into a new story. In God’s Kingdom, you are promised comfort from Him.

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

–Isaiah 41.10 NLT

I will never leave you or forsake you.

–Hebrews 13.5 NKJV

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

–Psalm 34.18 NIV

In God’s Kingdom, your hardships and hurts will be used for your good, and the good of others.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Romans 8.28 NIV

Feel Loved: God Cares About What You’re Going Through

Anything that is causing you to be feeling unloved is not in agreement with what God says about you. Let God show you who you are. He alone can give you your identity…not bullies, not parents, not friends. No one can give you what is only God’s to give. He’s the only One who will never fail us. Please remember no matter what you’re going through, that God cares and He will rescue you. Put your hope in Him and never give up. You’ll be amazed at what God can do with the most pain-filled stories.

You are loved.

FYI – a public affairs program with interesting people and hope-building projects around Ohio!
Have a question, comment, or topic? Contact FYI