Does Thanksgiving Have to Look Like a Magazine? 

My best friend and her husband are part of a dinner party group. 

Each month, one member of the group prepares and serves dinner for the other members. Most months are just good food and fellowship, but some dinners have a theme.  

Last month, the theme was Halloween.  My friend sent pictures – candles, charcuterie boards, elegant table settings, velvet pumpkins, and beautiful food. My friend, a talented hostess herself, was impressed. It looks like something you would see in a magazine. 

Or now on social media.  

Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a beautiful table. Some people have a real gift for hospitality, and we all enjoy seeing what they create. But I wonder if all those beautiful pictures have changed our expectations a little. 

There was a time when you invited people over, cleaned the house reasonably well, made something you knew how to cook, and hoped everyone had a good time. Now, as Thanksgiving approaches, before we even get to the grocery store, we can scroll through hundreds of pictures of perfectly decorated tables, elaborate centerpieces, and Thanksgiving dinners that look as though they required a professional event planner. 

And somehow, without anybody actually saying so, the standard has been raised. 

When did that happen? When did having people over become a production? 

Remembering Simpler Thanksgiving Traditions 

I realize not everyone had the same kind of childhood, but if you went to a relative’s or friend’s house for Thanksgiving as a child, I would guess your grandma did not coordinate her napkin rings with the seasonal centerpiece or even think about her “tablescape.” 

I remember being put in charge of making the punch and putting the brown ’n serve rolls in the oven. My brother and I crammed as many chairs around the table as would fit, and when all the food was put on the table, there wouldn’t have been room for a centerpiece! 

I have wonderful memories of those holiday dinners. I loved being with relatives we didn’t see often and eating all the food we only had at holidays.  

But I think we have lost a little of that. We might have made having people over so complicated that we sometimes decide it’s easier not to do it at all. 

To host Thanksgiving dinner – or any dinner – we think we need a bigger dining room, nicer dishes, more time to prepare, or a menu that includes something besides the same recipes we have been using for years.  

When Hospitality Becomes Intimidating 

Some people have always spent days preparing elaborate holiday meals, but we didn’t always have everyone else’s beautifully arranged Thanksgiving dinner appearing on our phones, inviting comparison. 

There is nothing wrong with wanting to make things beautiful for guests. In fact, going to extra trouble can be a way to show people how much we care about them. 

It isn’t that we have made Thanksgiving too beautiful. It’s that we may have made hospitality too intimidating. I wonder how many invitations have gone unextended because we think what we have isn’t good enough. 

Thanksgiving is coming. And while there will be plenty of beautiful tables and delicious meals, I hope there will also be crowded kitchens, mismatched chairs, store-bought rolls, and one more person squeezed around the table. 

Because years from now, someone may remember that Thanksgiving dinner.  

And I doubt they’ll remember what was in the centerpiece.